Note. Everything below is a parody of portfolios like this one: Everything I say should be taken as satire. Purple gradient portfolios with floating particles, typewriter text, rocket emojis, and “building the future” in the hero section are the clearest signal that someone vibe coded an overengineered site in an afternoon. This is one of the effects of the AI slop that people produce when they don’t know anything about programming, and in my opinion, it’s a huge red flag.